Robin Hood Movie Night Review Spectacular!

Yesterday was my first day of summer vacation, and I decided to watch as many Robin Hood movies as possible. Why? I don't know, maybe there might be some cool archery action? Unfortunately, most Robin Hood movies suck, so I had to watch these four.

Robin Hood (1973)

First up is the Disney classic that I never saw, because I hate Disney movies. The cartoon that inspired a million furries to have sex with people who think they are animals, while dressed as animals. Mostly foxes, but furries have branched out their interests to include all kinds of beasts these days.

It was alright, I guess, for a cheesy ass Disney movie. The vintage 70's folk music soundtrack was weird but not unpleasant. King John (portrayed as a Lion) was quite the buffoon, loved sleeping with sacks of gold ingots and would regularly fall into a semi-conscious state while sucking his thumb and muttering "Mommy..." I was also really surprised when Little John (a bear) sucked all the gemstones vacuum-like from the sockets of the King's rings, and the King must have looked at his hands like FIVE times afterwards without noticing big ugly empty ring sockets. Also, why didn't he have a mane? Was he a cub, or a lioness with a deep voice?

The animation quality was nice, some repetition and Scooby Doo looking shortcuts were probably made, but it still blows any modern cartoon out of the water.

Maid Marion wasn't that hot. What's up with the furrie love for her?

Robin Hood (2010)

Next up is the period-piece reunion between Ridley Scott and Russell Crowe we've all been waiting just forever for. Two truly gifted stars of Hollywood once again prove that after about 10-20 years of making movies, you just can't make good ones any more.

In this re-envisioning of the classic tale, Ridley Scott wanted to come up with a story that explains how a Knighted ex-Crusader landowning aristocrat could possibly be such a badass archer. Russell Crowe plays Robin Longstride, who takes on the identity of King Richard's dead buddy Sir Robert of Loxely. Oh yeah, and the King dies too. From an arrow to the neck. They never show him die, maybe he comes back at the end having miraculously survived so he can take the crown back from his dipshit little brother (after having learned a valuable Christian lesson from Robin.)

I never made it to the end. 2 and a half fucking hours...

I don't have much else to say about this movie. It was boring, Russell Crowe sucks, and Ridley Scott can't make good movies anymore. Also, I tried really hard to find a funny picture for this film, but Google search brings up hundreds of the same "badass" promo stills of Russell Crowe trying to look like he's the most macho man on the planet. What is he hiding, I wonder?

Robin Hood: Men in Tights (1993)

Next up is the Mel Brooks classic. Kate refused to watch Prince of Thieves so we watched this instead. I fell asleep about 30 minutes in, but I'll review this one based on memory.

The rapping is funny. The chick from Wings isn't funny. The Sheriff is funny. Cary Elwes is sadly, for the most part, not funny. Anything racist in this movie is funny.

Mel Brooks is the king of racism!

Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves (1991)

Last on this comprehensive list of ALL THE IMPORTANT ROBIN HOOD MOVIES is Prince of Thieves, or as I like to call it, the Best Movie Ever Made. As I said earlier, I fell asleep before I was able to watch this one, but I think I remember it well enough to declare this the winner.

The Painted Man, He Haunts my Dreams



The Winner is....................
ROBIN HOOD PRINCE OF THIEVES

My Wishlist

My gun wishlist. Maybe if I get all these I'll be done buying guns for the rest of my life. Not likely.



Rock Island Armory Tactical 1911 45ACP.
Tactical just means it has Novak modern sights instead of the old GI sights that old timers on the gun forums like to complain they can't see well enough. The 1911 is the quintessential handgun for most people, and I've never shot one. The RIA models are supposed to be a lot of bang for your buck, and feed lots of different types of ammo reliably.
I'm a revolver lover and don't have much interest in buying any more semi-autos, but every gun fan needs a 1911 to round out the collection.




Colt Detective Special Mk-II 38sp.
This one I'd like to have for concealed carry, if and when I ever get a permit to do so. I love my Colt Trooper, and the DS-II is considered one of the best snubbies ever produced, so why not stick with the Colt name? The mark II models are made a little stronger and have a shrouded ejector rod, so I'd prefer one of those. They also hold 6 rounds vs only 5 in most all other snub-nose revolvers, including the Smith and Wesson Chief's Special.




Ruger Blackhawk Single Action Revolver 357.
I'd take a 45 Long Colt or 44 Special just as happily. I've never used a single-action but hear great things about them. Not as practical a weapon comparatively these days, but they are supposed to handle and point really naturally for some people. And the Blackhawk models are designed to handle very heavy loads(specialty ammo manufacturers even designate "RUGER ONLY" loads), so they make great hunting handguns.




Smith and Wesson 1917 45ACP.
This may be the most expensive gun on the list, and possibly the hardest to find. In the WWI era the 1911 45ACP was introduced to the US Armed Forces as the standard issue sidearm. When Colt couldn't keep up with demand to manufacture these expensive weapons, Smith and Wesson re-fitted their existing 45LC large frame revolvers to fire the tons of surplus 45ACP cartridges laying around, using moon-clips to hold them in place in the cylinder. These days the Colt autos produced in that era are prized by collectors and worth gobs of money, while the Smith 1917 revolvers are beloved for their shoot-ability, accuracy and speed of reload.


That's the short list for now. I'd love to own plenty more guns, but these four would hit all the right spots in my brain to (maybe) keep me satisfied for a while...

New #1 Hit Jam

Wrote and recorded a new song today. I love you, Kate.

I Can't Do This Alone

And the winner is...

Colt Trooper MkIII 357Mag 4 inch barrel!!!

I got an amazing price on this at a gun show in Gonzales. The condition is near perfect and it is a beautiful piece of work. Kate approves.

I was especially pleased to learn that this weapon was featured in one of my favorite movies of all time, The Thing!!

New Cover Songs

Been playing these songs for a long time and I decided to sit down and record them. Most were done on the front porch, late Saturday evening, with the wonderful ambient sounds of West Congress and a couple dogs barking in the background.

Townes Van Zandt covers:

Pancho and Lefty

For the Sake of the Song

Waiting Round to Die

Steve Earle:

Elijah's Church

Gun Cabinet Project!

I just completed construction of a standing gun cabinet/rifle rack. I'm quite proud of myself. All that's left are to stain or paint it, but for now, I'm just gonna leave it bright and natural.

Note the two empty rifle slots. I guess I'll just have to buy more guns.